Spousal and Family Caregivers
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Many spouses and family caregivers of seniors need or want to keep working after retirement age due to the economy and living longer. However, if they have a spouse who isn't as well as they are, they may not be able to do this--without considering their options for assisted living.
There are choices when one person--the spouse--must be cared for by the other or a family caregiver.
If your spouse has issues that keeps them from being able to maintain full-time employment, you may find it difficult to work when they are home alone all day. You may be having this scenario: frequent telephone calls from the spouse left at home, pleas to come home early, telling you they feel anxious or lonely.
The dilemma is that you are not ready to be retired and want to keep working but you have a spouse that needs supervision. Also, after a long day at work, you must go home and make dinner because your spouse is unable to. Even though the spouse is still fairly independent, emotionally they cannot handle being alone all day.
These are your options:
1) Not work and stay home to be a caretaker or find a job where you can work from home. This is the least expensive option.
2) You can have a "homemaker" come into the home during the daytime hours while you are at work to be responsible for your spouse's meals and companionship. These services cost on average $21/hr depending on the service. If you need health care, you would have a health care worker come into the home, which is slightly more expensive.
3) You can have your spouse reside in an assisted living residence without you or you can reside as a couple. The most expensive option, but may be necessary if your spouse has a serious disease such as Alzheimer's. See Assisted Living Costs.
The same options apply if you are a family caregiver as a spouse.
Which option would you choose. It's a difficult decision. Most people choose to take care of their spouse themselves at home.
You can't depend on working forever, if you have an ailing spouse. You will have to decide how to handle this common scenario.
The time comes when you or your spouse may consider assisted living. The costs can vary from an "extra person fee" up to double for two people, and you may decide that you and your spouse must go it alone at home, at least for awhile, if this is unaffordable. With a serious disease like Alzheimer's or dementia you may have no choice but to get specialized care--in home or in an assisted living facility. Since care giving can be stressful on the one giving the care, assisted living for your spouse alone becomes a realistic option, and it is not uncommon to separate.
Some ways to remain together:
There are companion suites at assisted living where couples reside together.
There are facilities that have both independent and assisted living on the same campus where one spouse stays in independent living, and the other in the assisted living, and they can meet up for meals and activities.
At the least, the respite programs offered at many assisted living facilities can give the spousal or family caregiver a much needed "rest" from care giving.
You can have your spouse stay for a short or long period of time at a nearby assisted living facility so you can have a break. You may not wish to do this, but you should consider doing it for your health as studies are showing that caregiver's health can be at risk from the extra stress.
Don't be afraid to bring this up with your spouse or family member. You may be surprised that they are understanding of the situation and agree to "trying out" an assisted living facility for a short or long period.
The bottom line is that if you are a caregiver, you are presented with special problems and assisted living facilities may be able to help either in the respite program, supportive local programs, or full-time care for your spouse.
Download this excellent booklet for Caregivers by the National Alliance of Caregiving here (booklet download can be found under the heading CARE FOR THE FAMILY CAREGIVER: A PLACE TO START) National Alliance of Caregiving
There is something about care giving of your loved one that makes you feel very alone sometimes, but you're not. There are over 48 million caregivers of older adults. There are support groups available to connect and share with other caregivers. Contact a local assisted living facility to ask if there are any groups in your area.
Here is a supportive foundation website by Leeza Gibbons whose mother had Alzheimers (you can take a Caregivers Stress Test on the site Leeza's Place with Leeza Gibbons
If you wish, share your story with us right on this site.
Please verify all information. This is an information only website. Please consult with financial advisers and other professional advisers.
Caregiver Support--here is where you can share
We hope we can have a Caregiver Support forum here. If you think talking about your experience will help you or others, this is your opportunity to share.
Your personal information is private and never shared with third parties.
Return from Family Caregivers to Bestguide-AssistedLiving Home Page
Also see Assisted Living Costs